I woke up this morning, put on my glasses and thought "ew." My skin was red and blotchy, I had 3 white heads, my skin was dry from the flight (to Mexico, yay!) Then it dawned on me. I'm in Mexico! Why worry so much? Then I thought, uh oh, Mexico means bathing suits. So I squeeze myself into one and looked at all my flaws; flabby thighs, dimpled bum, fat overhanging, white skin, pock marked skin, acne scars, rosacea, and fat hanging around my jaw. Definitely not the vintage bathing beauty I thought of looking like when I had put it on. Then I caught myself; what was the use of beating myself down? So I started to find the positives of myself; long lean limbs, long shiny hair, big shining blue eyes, pouty lips, long slender hands, strong legs... when my sweet boyfriend came in the door and told me I looked, breathily, "gorgeous." This brought tears to my eyes and I washed my face, put on some tinted moisturizer and some lotion and strutted out the door. I didn't even blink when I saw a much thinner girl wearing the same bathing suit as I had on in a different colour because I knew I had things that were beautiful about my body that she was likely jealous of, and I knew my boyfriend thought I was the prettiest girl on that beach because he squeezed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. This is going to be a great week!
Having fun in the sun,
Mo
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
February 27, 2012
A few months ago, I skimmed a book called "The Secret" in which the basic principle is a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts; you send positive thoughts out into the universe and get everything your heart desires. However, if you send negative thoughts, even things you didn't intend to be negative (i.e. I not going to crash- "not" and "crash" being the negative words), you will fail. Some positive thoughts would be, "I'm doing well on this midterm," "I'm a smart beautiful person," "I will succeed at life." Some negative thoughts would be, "I'm not going to crash," "I will fail," I'm not a fun person." See the difference? Of course, me like almost everyone else who reads the book before seeing it coming true in their own life, thought it was crazy. I tried it out for a few days but then gave up and forgot about it.
Just before the start of this assignment, my boyfriend, Bret, told me that he had watched "The Secret" on Netflix and he was all about optimism. He went on and on about it, and being as I was usually the optimistic one, I knew I had to change my ways. A few days later, I started this assignment, and after deleting the bad people out of my phone, a great thing happened that made me truly believe in The Secret.
Not long after I re-became friends with Dust and 2Faced, I lost my best and second closest friend. We'll call her Beauty. I've been devastated about it ever since; I've been trying to think of a way to become friends with her again ever since. I was a different person when I was friends with Dust and 2Faced and I was ashamed to try to speak to Beauty again.
Well, after deleting Dust and 2Faced out of my phone, it's like fate just happened. I was getting a late bite to eat from Shoppers, and of course had to stop in at their beauty boutique because I love that place and I've pretty much visited it 3x a week since it opened. I'd oddly never seen Beauty til that day. It was pretty awkward when she asked me if I needed help and then gasped when she recognized me. I told her she could help the other customers and I'd just look around. I was so excited but so nervous! She was perfectly made up s always and I looked tired and ragged after a full 8 hours of school and homework. Regardless, I hung around. Then I went "duh" and said to myself, we were best friends for years- she doesn't give a crap about what I look like! This was definitely a sign, right?
She finished up quite quickly and came over to me. Then a miracle happened; we talked for 5 hours- from 5pm, til 10pm when the store closed. We quickly exchanged phone numbers and I hope to talk to her again soon. During our long talk, we realized that it was very odd that we hadn't seen each other as she worked every day during the week since the store had opened. I guess I just wasn't emotionally "ready" to see her until that day; it's the secret in action! I got rid of negative friendships and found a positive one I'd been missing since I introduced the negativity into my life.
Mo
Just before the start of this assignment, my boyfriend, Bret, told me that he had watched "The Secret" on Netflix and he was all about optimism. He went on and on about it, and being as I was usually the optimistic one, I knew I had to change my ways. A few days later, I started this assignment, and after deleting the bad people out of my phone, a great thing happened that made me truly believe in The Secret.
Not long after I re-became friends with Dust and 2Faced, I lost my best and second closest friend. We'll call her Beauty. I've been devastated about it ever since; I've been trying to think of a way to become friends with her again ever since. I was a different person when I was friends with Dust and 2Faced and I was ashamed to try to speak to Beauty again.
Well, after deleting Dust and 2Faced out of my phone, it's like fate just happened. I was getting a late bite to eat from Shoppers, and of course had to stop in at their beauty boutique because I love that place and I've pretty much visited it 3x a week since it opened. I'd oddly never seen Beauty til that day. It was pretty awkward when she asked me if I needed help and then gasped when she recognized me. I told her she could help the other customers and I'd just look around. I was so excited but so nervous! She was perfectly made up s always and I looked tired and ragged after a full 8 hours of school and homework. Regardless, I hung around. Then I went "duh" and said to myself, we were best friends for years- she doesn't give a crap about what I look like! This was definitely a sign, right?
She finished up quite quickly and came over to me. Then a miracle happened; we talked for 5 hours- from 5pm, til 10pm when the store closed. We quickly exchanged phone numbers and I hope to talk to her again soon. During our long talk, we realized that it was very odd that we hadn't seen each other as she worked every day during the week since the store had opened. I guess I just wasn't emotionally "ready" to see her until that day; it's the secret in action! I got rid of negative friendships and found a positive one I'd been missing since I introduced the negativity into my life.
Mo
February 17, 2012
Today started great! I was in line for Starbucks counting on the change needed for a grande triple iced caramel machiatto with soy, when I pulled up to the window and found out that the person in front of me bought my purchase. It's called "the good deeds movement" I think. So I put $10 toward the person behind my cars bill. It made me feel good inside that they would get a great feeling like I did when my purchase was paid for me. It made me feel really great to know I was passing great feelings along. I didn't think any negative thoughts that entire day. I think I learned a new secret to getting rid of that "voice." (Wow. The more I say that, the crazier it sounds. I'm not crazy though! Promise.)
xo Mo
xo Mo
February 15, 2012
Well, today was a bad day. I always have these days when I'm trying to make a change. I start all jacked up about something new or different, then a few days later, I start to doubt myself. That happened today. I was worried about finishing things on time, thinking I didn't look good, critisizing my clothes. Then I thought, "stop." Crazy thing is? I did. I made a plan to get my homework done, put on some makeup and brushed my hair and threw a load of laundry in the dishwasher. I felt a lot better so I went on with my day with a smile on my face.
Yay!
Yay!
Friday, March 2, 2012
February 13, 2012
Bum bum bum chhh another one bites the dust....
Okay. Let me explain. I've had a friend since grade 6 who has always been an on again off again friend. Now we are off, and this time it's for good. I outlined our initial fight in my Assignment 4: Conflict Project. I can't stand the arguing and negativity anymore. She's still on my phone contact list and my Facebook "friends" but I'll change that in the next few weeks.
Also, today I woke up, looked in the mirror and thought, "Ew. My face is full of zits and I am not attractive at all." Then I started looking at other flaws... my under groomed brows, the extra weight I've put on, and just felt horrible. Then I paused... what use was this? If I wanted more groomed brows, why not just wax them? If I wanted to lose weight, go for a walk. Beating myself up about it is such a useless activity. So I stopped, put on some coverup, and left with a smile on my face.
At the Starbucks drive through, the man in front of me paid for my order. Now that's good karma.
All for now,
Morgan
Okay. Let me explain. I've had a friend since grade 6 who has always been an on again off again friend. Now we are off, and this time it's for good. I outlined our initial fight in my Assignment 4: Conflict Project. I can't stand the arguing and negativity anymore. She's still on my phone contact list and my Facebook "friends" but I'll change that in the next few weeks.
Also, today I woke up, looked in the mirror and thought, "Ew. My face is full of zits and I am not attractive at all." Then I started looking at other flaws... my under groomed brows, the extra weight I've put on, and just felt horrible. Then I paused... what use was this? If I wanted more groomed brows, why not just wax them? If I wanted to lose weight, go for a walk. Beating myself up about it is such a useless activity. So I stopped, put on some coverup, and left with a smile on my face.
At the Starbucks drive through, the man in front of me paid for my order. Now that's good karma.
All for now,
Morgan
Behavior
The behavior I want to change is the negativity I feel and project toward myself. Stop negative "self talk"... the little voice inside your head who tells you what you can't do, how you don't stack up and why you're just not good enough. That little voice is getting on my nerves. It needs to stop and give me my head back. Man, as I'm writing this, I realize just how crazy I sound, but we all have that little voice that is just the negative aspect of our personality trying to make us fail.. I'm done with you, voice!
Right now, if I don't do something I say I'm going to or fail at something, I beat myself up. That's not fair. I should take responsibility for my actions, but I shouldn't beat myself up about them. I also have times where I feel really bad about the way I look or what friends I keep. I don't choose the best friendships, as a general rule, and I need to get rid of the bad relationships in my life and focus on me and my true friends. I was a beauty adviser at The Hudson's Bay Company for over a year and it was instilled in me there that outward beauty was the most important thing. I know that's not true, but it's always at the back of my mind. I love playing around with new makeup, hair and nail styles but I always look my best outwardly when I feel great inwardly, and that's what I'm going to focus on in this blog.
I plan on changing this one day at a time. I'm going to work on it by every time I get a negative thought, I will try to conquer it with a positive one. Also, I want to work on having a better self imagine, which I think goes hand in hand with conquering negative thought.
How I'll change:
-combat every negative thought with a positive one
-replace uncertainty and doubt with certainty
-whenever I feel bad about myself for some reason, do something to change that bad feeling
-rid my life of situations/ people that are negative influences
Goals:
-feel more positive
-try to get rid of negative "voice in head"
-feel a sense of calm and peace
I've been keeping a journal at home about my experiences and will post them into this blog with the dates I wrote them. So don't pay attention to the dates of the posted blog, but rather the date I'll post with the title or in the beginning of each post.
All for now!
Morgan Lencucha
Right now, if I don't do something I say I'm going to or fail at something, I beat myself up. That's not fair. I should take responsibility for my actions, but I shouldn't beat myself up about them. I also have times where I feel really bad about the way I look or what friends I keep. I don't choose the best friendships, as a general rule, and I need to get rid of the bad relationships in my life and focus on me and my true friends. I was a beauty adviser at The Hudson's Bay Company for over a year and it was instilled in me there that outward beauty was the most important thing. I know that's not true, but it's always at the back of my mind. I love playing around with new makeup, hair and nail styles but I always look my best outwardly when I feel great inwardly, and that's what I'm going to focus on in this blog.
I plan on changing this one day at a time. I'm going to work on it by every time I get a negative thought, I will try to conquer it with a positive one. Also, I want to work on having a better self imagine, which I think goes hand in hand with conquering negative thought.
How I'll change:
-combat every negative thought with a positive one
-replace uncertainty and doubt with certainty
-whenever I feel bad about myself for some reason, do something to change that bad feeling
-rid my life of situations/ people that are negative influences
Goals:
-feel more positive
-try to get rid of negative "voice in head"
-feel a sense of calm and peace
I've been keeping a journal at home about my experiences and will post them into this blog with the dates I wrote them. So don't pay attention to the dates of the posted blog, but rather the date I'll post with the title or in the beginning of each post.
All for now!
Morgan Lencucha
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