March 9, 2012. Final Writeup.

All records are written in this blog; dates may not be exact but are similar to when they were written as I didn't always write the date on each journal entry.

My initial behaivour was beating myself down, saying negative things to myself and staying in negative relationships and situations because I was afraid of change. Today I walked into O-Sho's and sat down for a meal by myself and didn't even think about if people were wondering why I was there alone or what they were thinking because I just didn't care; that is huge for me. I never would have been brave enough to do that a month ago. My anxiety would have taken over me with questions of "what if" and negative feelings but not this time; not today. Today I just enjoyed my food and got homework done. Yay!

I planned to accomplish my goals of feeling more positive, trying to get rid of the negative "voice" in my head and feeling a sense of calm and peace in my life by getting rid of negative thoughts by overwhelming them with positive ones, by ridding my life of negative situations and people and by trying new things and being more confident in myself.

I faced the hurdle of every day life when trying to reach my goal because every day every person has struggles, big and small, whether they realize them or not and it was my goal to listen to, identify my problems and deal with them. It's hard learning to listen to yourself but worth the time invested in it. I'm worth investing the time, and so are you.

I accomplished my goals day by day, and it still is an everyday struggle. Every day someone says something to me or I say something to myself that isn't good and it beats down my self esteem, and old me held onto those negative words and had a struggle letting go. I still have that struggle but it isn't as prominent and dominant in my life as it used to be.

I'm going to make my changes permanent by keeping up this thought process long after this assignment, this course, my education is done. I'm going to do that by being self aware and aware of the peoples attitudes around me. I try to combat negativity wherever I see it, be it in my friends or in strangers, and this helps with combating my negativity in myself. I think not only will this strengthen my positive thinking, but also bring back the optimistic attitude I lost when I held on to negative situations and people. I'm excited to start getting my life and attitude back!

Thank you for reading and for all your help in developing myself,

Morgan Lencucha (s0132202)